How to make new friends in college
By Haley Lam, Wellness Coordinator, Student Affairs & Services
New to Douglas? There may be a lot of changes and challenges you’re facing, from finding out where your classes are, to getting acquainted with on-campus resources, to meeting your instructors and classmates. Not to mention living away from family and juggling studying, working and extracurricular activities. It can feel overwhelming, so it’s important to have a supportive social network to help you get through it all.
Did you know friendships can help you with your academic performance? Solid friends can support you during the ups and downs of being a student, whether in providing moral support while you’re preparing for exams, joining you in celebrating an achievement or encouraging you to explore a new activity or skill.
Need a little help making new friends? Here are some tips:
Show up to events
Create opportunities to connect with folks by showing up to events on campus. The Douglas Students’ Union (DSU) and Student Life have various clubs and events for you to check out:
Embrace openness
Fear of rejection can make it difficult to make friends; we are more likely to reach out to people whom we think will not reject us. But the truth is that you never really know how others see you. If you believe that people will accept you, you are more likely to be open and warm, and naturally invite more interactions. Communicating openness and interest may feel scary, but it’s a key step to igniting new friendships.
Take the initiative to connect. Moments add up!
Friendships don’t just happen, nor do they happen right away – they emerge over a series of small efforts and moments. When you meet someone, be active in suggesting another time or opportunity to meet. Suggest checking out that new café or restaurant, park or club together. Even if it feels as insignificant as finding a classroom or lab you’re unfamiliar with, or walking to the bus stop together, these are moments that can build a friendship over time. You can also look up events on campus and consider inviting your new acquaintance along. College is filled with trying new things, so why not try them out with someone who’s also open to exploration?
Practice consent, curiosity and care
When making new friends, be mindful of people’s different communication styles and comfort levels, and approach interactions with kindness and inclusivity. Always remember to practice consent by checking in, asking, and listening to what people are comfortable with.
The college journey is about being exposed to new people and perspectives. One way to show curiosity is by asking open-ended questions about a person’s interests, preferences and experiences.
Another great way to show care for a new friend is to check in with them via a quick text or call on something – maybe it’s a school assignment or exam, or how they spent a long weekend. Showing interest in your new friend’s life will help build your connection as you learn more about each other.
Final words
There’s no single, right way to make friends. Friendships take time to build and can look and feel different for each person. What matters most is being authentic and making others feel valued so that you can build quality friendships that will allow you to grow and feel supported during your college journey and beyond!
References
Franco, M. G. (2022). Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends.
Curtis, R. C., & Miller, K. (1986). Believing another likes or dislikes you: Behaviors making the beliefs come true. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 51(2), 284–290.
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